Apparently Mel – who was spotted skulking out of his doctor’s office in LA earlier this week - was planning to make a Viking epic starring the Inception star, but it seems as though after hearing the string of sweary rants Mel unleashed on his ex Oksana Grigorieva, Leo – like the rest of Hollywood – has decided to shun Gibson. What a crying shame…

Which is why we were not in anyway stunned at all today when we found out that the former atomic kitten star has been approached by LA producers to star in a US comedy flick. A source divulged:

“Kerry has been offered one of the main parts in a new film and is absolutely thrilled...It will be an American production with British stars, so she should fit right in.

“She's just deciding at the moment whether to go for it, but this could be her big break in acting.”

Yes acting, singing, reality TV – where does the talent end, that’s what we want to know. Speaking of which Kerry showed those LA agents what she’s made of earlier today when she strutted her stuff in a red all in one number outside her Surrey home…

Admittedly her outfit was hideous, but it wasn’t outrageously hideous and when it comes to Jordan we really do expect a certain amount of outrageous hideousness.

Come on Katie you’ve still got plenty of signings left, pull your finger out and stick on that tutu. Honestly if you go any more casual you’ll end up in pyjamas…

If there’s anything more beautiful in life than watching Kylie Minogue bottle feed milk to baby tigers a through a cage while at Melbourne zoo we’d sure like to hear it, because these pictures just made us cry a tiny, tiny bit.

Just imagine being bottle fed milk by Kylie Minogue for a second will you? Obviously if you were a fully grown adult that would be a bit weird, but just imagine being bottle fed by Kylie if you were a baby tiger (or baby anything really) – makes you feel all warm and snugly inside doesn’t it?

Awwww…. Now f-off back to work will you! Bloody lazy bunch of so and sos….

So when pictures emerged of the American Pie actress stumbling around a nightclub in St. Tropez looking extremely worse for wear yesterday we thought we’d give her the benefit of the doubt and not jump to any conclusions - Maybe it was just a one off, maybe she wasn’t drunk, maybe she was just tired, etc etc…

But the very next day our worst fears were confirmed when Tara was spotted drooling over Dennis Rodman at the VIP Room.

Although she didn’t look quite as horrific as she did the night before she still looked a complete mess and she seemed completely unaware that her boyfriend was less than impressed with her flirting with Dennis Rodman.

In fact we think it’s fair to say she was in her own little world and not a very pleasant one at that. Sad.

You may remember that Sam was among the six contestants last Friday who were potentially going to be put into the house, but now that Laura’s walked out of the show Sam has been selected to spice up the programme in her place.

Let’s hope that he, unlike Laura, can hack the pressure of being on camera 24/7….

The Hollywood actress (who dates Justin Timberlake and probably has millions in the bank, are you feeling sorry for her yet?) said:

"I haven’t worked at all this year. I haven’t made a film so I haven’t had a pay cheque and I won’t do anything until September and I don’t know if I’ll do anything after."

Is she seriously? Does she honestly expect us to feel sorry for her? Apparently she does because wait till you hear this next bit:

"My life is very much a question mark when the next pay check is coming in and even when it seems like you make enough money, you sometimes don’t know when the next cheque is coming in."

Oh our heart bleeds for you Jessica it really does, but then we remember that when you do get that all important pay cheque it’s probably more than most people earn in a lifetime so STFU!

We thought that Madonna had kicked her addiction to nicotine yonks ago but it seems as though she’s fallen off the proverbial wagon again with all that stress of directing her new movie, because yesterday while on the set of said movie we spotted the pop queen with a cancer stick in her hand.

Think of the wrinkles Madge, think of the wrinkles!

The JLS singer was dressed from head to toe in denim, which sounds like a recipe for disaster but he actually looked pretty damn good, as he led Saturdays babe Rochelle out of the posh London night spot.

Now we don’t really know what it is about this couple we find so fascinating, they don’t row in public, they haven’t cheated on each other and they never do anything remotely scandalous, but for some strange reason we’re still drawn to them – Bizarre eh!

And it’s not like we’re trying to have a go here it’s just that a small part of us kind of misses the old Lily Allen who used to go and do stuff, you know – exciting stuff.

But since she retired from music and announced her plans to get started making a family all Lily seems to do is make the occasional outing to some celeby event (such as she was doing last night when we spotted her at the launch of some fashioney thing at Matches boutique) following which she tends to head home, avec Sam, at a reasonable hour. A reasonable hour?! Shocking isn’t it?

Come on Lils spice it up a little – stick your middle finger up at a pap, slag off a celebrity, spill a drink over someone’s head - please, make writing about you interesting again - we urge you.